Ozzie I’m going to miss you my dear but you had a wonderful rich life. You were the first doctor of any sort that I wasn’t afraid of and when you left practise I was heartbroken. I have a trustworthy optometrist now, have no fears, but he’ll never replace you.

Rest in peace my friend, may the Gods bless and watch over you for all of eternity. You sir - were one of a kind.

For Ozzie’s beloved family - do not cry because he is gone but smile because he was here. Bless you all.

Read Ozzie’s beautiful tribute here: [link]

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There’s a horrible lightning storm here right now and I don’t know if we’re going to lose power or not so I’m not staying here long. I’ll be back after the storm clears and I’ll make sure to let y’all know how well we made it through. Until I get back though, please enjoy these sweet images of our beloved Max:

These were taken right after his first bath.

I’m not so sure that he liked me very much then but he’ll live…

Take care y’all…
I’ll be back before ya know it.

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Me Update: I’m tired, as to be expected. I’m weak, no surprise there. I’ve lost about five inches of painful bloat from my waistline through the night. I think I’ll be OK, for now at least… My tummy feels bruised, my bladder feels raw and tender. I have a horrible ache in my lower back and the fatty bits on my lower belly are itching on the inside like some kinda deep tissue itch. No picnic, lemme tell ya. This latest infection was a real bitch.

For the last week I’ve looked about six months pregnant. Today I look almost like a real grrl. Trust me, getting rid of the ball of infected hate that was in my belly is the nicest thing to happen to my body in a while. This is actually a huge improvement…

Project Notice: X.Dell is doing a great project if you’ve ever dreamed of being a radio star! Would you like to try your hand at voice acting? He has this great idea, people all over the web (and around the world) are contributing. He has a script, you get a part. You record your bit - he’ll edit all of the finished works together and we’ll see how well that we can make a radio play happen between people miles apart who have likely never even met! Go see his post if you’re at all interested, its awesome! Here: [link]

Even though I’m horrible today, I’m going to try to do this for you, without further adieu -

Wednesday Weirdness #13:

1.) What material is your favorite for bed sheets?

Flannel. I love flannel more than silk or satin or rayon or even thick smooth linen, its just so cozy. Flannel is incredibly sexy and highly underrated.

2.) How often do you masturbate?

Not often really, I just don’t need to. I seriously can’t remember a single time this year so that should tell you… If I feel frisky, Kylearyn is usually nearby and ready to perform anyhow… Plus - why bother? I have the world’s best lover at my beck and call!

3.) What takes you the longest to do while showering? (IE shaving, washing hair, etc)

Shaving my legs and bits. I have 32″ (X2 of course) of leg, its not a speedy task.

4.) What do you think is the right amount of foreplay? Do you spend enough time readying your partner for sex?

There is never enough foreplay. In fact- I’d totally drop the penetration part for foreplay sometimes. The touching, minding each other, its nice. The thrusting slamming bit is sometimes a bit lonely, you’re so focused on getting to your own end that it doesn’t even matter anymore that there is a real person on the other end of it.

5.) Who tends to initiate sex more when you are in a relationship?

My partner. I have a tendency to forget that there is sex.

6.) What birth control do you use?

Patience and rubbers. In my case - I’m supposed to get a Mirena (IUD) “installed” and I never did. I can’t use birth control pills because of my health conditions and I wouldn’t go back to Depo Provera if you gave me a million bucks, its half the reason that my autoimmune system fell apart thus making the Crohn’s about ten times worse than it should have been… Also - they told me that I’m not even a candidate for tubal ligation - its too dangerous and such a simple procedure could, in all likelihood, kill me double dead.

7.) What is one thing your partner could do in bed that would instantly turn you off?

Oh Gods, there are so many things. Call me by a former lover’s name? Potty games? Extreme age play? Incessant anal begging and/or demanding? Infantilism. Weird insertions… I’m adventurous sure but I do have my limits. I’m not going to condemn those folks openly but I’m just sayin…

Yeah, and I’m not into humiliation games or name calling - thats the fastest way to get me to toss you out of my bed and my life.

Thankfully I’ve only encountered a few of those in the real world and I’m so fucking glad that Kylearyn is not into any of those things. I’d really hate to have to divorce him after all we’ve been through…

Wednesday Weirdness #13

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I’m sorry to anyone that I made promises to out here today but something nasty has developed and I’m not much of a donkey. I’m posting this from my bed on my WeeePC from under a pile of blankets.

Yesterday morning I woke with a nasty headache and I puked before my eyes had been open ten minutes. I felt weak and wan all day and my tummy was hurting like apocalypse occurring. I had next to no appetite and my skin just felt tender and hot.

I had thought that it was a kind of lag, from my active and delightful weekend. No such luck…

Today I’m in horrible immense pain, my thoughts are clouded and I’m cramped up like you couldn’t imagine. I was passing a rather nasty looking discharge from my bladder and it felt like there was a tumbler full of glass shards spinning out of control in there.

I’m taking Cephalexin and praying but for now - I’m just trying to breathe through it and somehow come out on the other side… If you can believe it - there’s just enough warmth coming from this WeeePC to actually give my tummy a bit of relief. Soon I’m going to run a really hot bath and just lie in it.

So the rest of tonight and likely most of tomorrow I’m taking these pills, avoiding solid foods like the plague and getting real personal with apple juice and ice chips.

Take care y’all, I’m going to be OK…

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1. Are your farts;

a. Silent but deadly
b. All sound, no fury
c. Loud and stinky

All of the above. Having Crohn’s Disease has made me a connoisseur of farts. I can only say, on a not so good day, if you hear it and see me bolt - move or risk getting spray painted as I pass…

2. Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it?
How did they or you handle it.
Farted in front of one? Ha! I like to wait until they’re almost asleep then I pull the blanket up slowly, seal it around their head, and then let’er rip! I know I’m gonna fart more than a normal person so I try to make it a joke, no big deal, then I’m not nearly as embarrassed as I could be. Most people stare in stunned silence for a moment or two then they giggle like kids. Farting can bring out the human in people but then there are anal retentive fucks who don’t have bodily functions (in their minds anyhow) and they’ll vilify you for voicing wisdom from the toothless prophet down under…

3. Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it?
Ha! Thats what elevators are for, its hysterical, try it sometime. Let a quiet creeper out. Make sure you’re standing next to the tightest looking conservative dude, then make your face crinkle. Sniff quietly a few times and then sorta slowly sidle away from the tight dude. When he realizes that the whole elevator thinks its him - hahahaha!!!

4. What food triggers you?
Ummm…. what doesn’t? Seriously. Look up Crohn’s, you’ll see…

5. Varts (Vaginal Farts) Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all?
They happen but when they do I feel gross. They’re just such a disgusting sound…

Bonus (as in optional): When you do fart with someone in your bed, do you cover their head with the sheet and hold them under?
Oh Gods, now I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna pee! Please refer to my answer for question #2…

#144 - Farting Edition

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Just in case you couldn’t watch the videos earlier - you’re in luck! I’ve just uploaded a full gallery of images from this past Sunday. As you know, my sister and I hadn’t seen each other since April 1st 1998. On July 20th 2008 we got together and reconnected. Here’s the video if you missed it: [link] or you can just scroll down the page until you find it…

This is the day that my sister and I got to reconnect. We hadn’t seen each other since our father’s funeral on April 1st, 1998. We laughed, we cried and we lived. Click the image to see a full gallery!

You may also want to check out the post right before this one - [link], its an introduction to the newest member of our wonderful family. So, I’m still tired, massive over exertion, I’m outta here for the rest of the day. I’ll see y’all tomorrow sometime and I hope you enjoy my great “stuff”. Stay shiny!

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This is the newest member of our family - Max. I think that he’s precious and I’m sure you’ll agree. Have a look:

Please see the post just before this [link] for an awesome video of my amazing Sunday!

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I’m awake now and worn out but blissfully happy. Yesterday turned out even better than I could have possibly dreamed. It was so happy and warm, I can’t even find decent words to express how I am feeling today. I’ve put together a video filled with clips and snapshots as well as a sappy soggy narration. Please enjoy, I certainly did:

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This is an electric massager, it plugs into a USB port on my PC. I picked it up at Kylearyn’s shop for $9.99 and its fabulous! It fits perfectly in the spot at the base of my neck thats been throbbing and hurting. It has two speeds and it was made for my hand. Yes, its just a freakin’ vibrator. No, it is not for intimate stimulation. I can totally (and understandably) see how some would use it that way though…

I’m getting ready to go visit my sister and her family. Its been a long time. It was ten years on April 1st. I’m freaked out, hardcore. I’m anxious yet I’m also filled with apprehension. I can’t explain it, perhaps I’m just too far set in my ways. I’ll be back either later tonight or first thing tomorrow with photos and updates.

For the rest of this day -  I’m going to be out of town…

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While there’s a semblance of peace in the house, I believe that I’ll sit here and type myself retarded. Incidentally - its politically incorrect to call someone else retarded in a derogatory sense but its perfectly OK to call oneself retarded if said person happens to suffer with extreme dysmorphic self esteem. Retarded just means “stunted” anyhow…

Its foggy here, a bit too murky for my liking. The air is humid and hot, its sticky as hell out there. I’m hoping for sunshine tomorrow so that I can go for a walk with my sister alone and catch up a bit. It used to be a ritual for us, we’d only get to see each other a few times a year so when we met up - we’d immediately ditch everyone else for half an hour or so and just walk and talk. I think I need that, I’ve been so lonely these past months.

That sounds horrible, doesn’t it? I have Kylearyn and Neath and friendships aren’t gender specific but I miss the connection of some sort of family. I look for sister qualities in almost every woman I meet, hoping that someday I’ll have that sense of comfort again. A certain ease that isn’t usually present in non sibling affairs.

I still haven’t located my mother.  I don’t want her to know that I’m looking either, I just want to know where she is, if she’s even still alive. I can’t risk the hurt of contact with her but its creepy not knowing where she is, what she’s up to. Does anyone have any idea how to locate someone in Canada without them knowing? She’s not active online, she’s legally homeless. She’s married to a Native man but I don’t know if there’s a way to access the band records or not. Her obit hasn’t showed up in her city or mine but that doesn’t mean shit - she uses at least five aliases and she doesn’t like to carry any ID.

This comes up because she used to visit SJ every four months like clockwork. She’d land in town and head to either her favourite watering hole or she’d go straight to her best friend’s house. He hasn’t seen her (and nobody at the tavern has either) in almost three years. We know that her current husband is a violent man, he’s beat her nearly beyond recognition a few times and he has a long criminal record for substance related crimes and violence. Then again - so does she, she may well be doing time somewhere… Who knows? I’m almost afraid to find out…

I just had a nice long soak, shaved my grrl bits, moisturized my scratchies, the works. Tonight Kylearyn will think I’ve snuck out of bed and sent in a double. I’m smooth and pretty smelling, I’m almost feeling like a real grrl…

I’m going to rest a bit and stare into space while Weemale naps and then I think I’m gonna get on the ball and finish up some things that I forgot to do yesterday. I’m going to find something cool and comfortable to wear and then I may even go for a green tea latte if my guts permit.

Take care y’all, I may be back later to whisper more sweet nothings into your tender ear…

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